Feeling inadequate is a common experience, even among successful people. It isn't necessarily a problem, and challenging insecurity can become an asset.
Choose a goal you have reached. It might be professional, such as the promotion you had long been hoping for, or relational, such as the phone call of apology you made to a friend you had offended. Now think about it: do you consider these "successes" to be partly your own doing — your tenacity, competence, empathy? Or was it just luck, your boss overestimated you, and your friend accepted the apology in a moment of distraction? If the latter, perhaps it is impostor syndrome speaking.
Those afflicted by this condition of deep insecurity are convinced they are fraudulently sustaining the pretence of being something they are not, of not being up to what others think they are. An unknown actor among real and perfect individuals, as in a reversed Truman Show, the impostor wakes up every day with one overriding, consuming fear: the fear of being unmasked.
Calling "this inner experience of intellectual fraudulence" a syndrome is not entirely appropriate. The term, in fact, appears neither in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) nor in the first scientific article published on the subject by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978.
Not only that — as Jemima Kelly reports in the Financial Times — if Clance could go back, she would speak only of the "impostor experience", because ultimately we are dealing with "a widespread and human feeling". A personality trait so common that an estimated 70 per cent of people have experienced it at least once in their lives.
Women and underrepresented groups, parents and students are the groups most studied in the literature, although research now shows that this phenomenon is democratic: no distinctions of gender, age or social standing.
"The age of performance demands that we always be at our best in everything," explains psychotherapist Roberta Milanese, "completely satisfied with our working, emotional and sexual lives. Weaknesses, mistakes and imperfections must be eliminated, because the new 'normality' is the fake, glossy one of social networks. This is one of the origins of this epidemic of insecurity."
With her platinum blonde bob and the effortless delivery of a radio presenter, Florencia Di Stefano-Abichain is today a content creator. With a career in digital management at multinationals behind her, in front of her 31,000 followers on Instagram she seems anything but insecure.
When I discover that she has written a book on impostor syndrome — almost a diary — I realise she is the right person to ask what connection there is between social networks and the pervasive sense of insecurity.
"It is no coincidence that the impostor phenomenon, which first emerged in the Seventies, has come back into fashion today (see the numerous coming out stories from celebrities, from Michelle Obama to Arisa, ed.). The pandemic, which drove us all onto social networks, played its part: we found ourselves in a virtual square of disproportionate size, in which we constantly compare ourselves with the best versions of other people's lives and are exposed to continuous feedback. Social media stage a collective lie, but being aware of this at a rational level does not protect us from the toxic pressure of other people's gaze."
How do you recognise the signs of the impostor phenomenon? "If I were really capable, I'd already know this." And so the grumbling of the expert impostor begins. A fraud by trade, this is one of the five profiles described by Dr Valerie Young.
The American researcher, one of the leading authorities on the subject, sketches the portrait of the perfectionist — the type who, if they fail to meet the very high standards they have set themselves, becomes mired in a sense of failure and obsessively ruminates over their own mistakes.
Somewhat different is the superman or superwoman, because their sense of success is linked not so much to what they do or how they do it, but to how much they do. They must excel at everything and bask in others' admiration, but the moment one of their roles (inevitably) starts to wobble, they feel like a failure.
The one who makes it look easy is instead the so-called "natural genius": they expect to succeed at the first attempt, without effort, or else their self-esteem collapses. This type of impostor tends to refuse any help because they believe they must cross the finish line under their own steam. The rugged individualist, on the other hand, goes it alone because they think that otherwise they could not take credit for the result achieved.
Finally, the expert mentioned at the start of this section. Never qualified enough, a compulsive reader of manuals, they seek competence through knowledge, which however is never exhausted. This often leaves them paralysed, reluctant to face new experiences for fear of not being sufficiently prepared.
It must be stressed that impostor syndrome is not a mental disorder, and therefore no standardised professional criteria exist for determining who suffers from it and who does not. Nevertheless, since its "symptoms" can affect various aspects of our lives, it is worth trying out some self-assessment tests. Those devised by psychologist Sandi Mann in her slim volume "La sindrome dell'impostore. Perché pensi che gli altri ti sopravvalutino" leave no room to hide.
Each with their own characteristics, the impostor types described so far share a low expectation of succeeding in life. Confronted with their own success — an obvious accident along the way — they feel they do not deserve it. This creates cognitive dissonance, that is, a state of stress and discomfort experienced when one simultaneously holds two contradictory beliefs.
To break the deadlock, credit is attributed to external and temporary factors (luck, other people's misjudgement, timing) rather than to internal and stable causes such as talent and competence. Paradoxical, isn't it? Given that it is often the most capable people who suffer from impostor syndrome. "Consistently low self-esteem is not healthy," warns Sandi Mann, "and it often leads to feelings of inferiority, helplessness, sadness and depression". So what can be done?
We put the question to Roberta Milanese, who in her book "L'ingannevole paura di non essere all'altezza" explores the impostor phenomenon in depth and suggests strategies for learning to transform the feeling of self-doubt into self-confidence.
"Self-esteem is something we must build over the course of our lives by facing the challenges that life itself puts before us. If I want to feel confident in myself, I must begin by changing what I do, and only afterwards will I be able to change what I feel and what I think of myself. An example: if I fear other people's judgement and always avoid putting myself out there for fear of receiving it, my fear can only get worse, because that very avoidance will end up confirming to me that, had I exposed myself, negative judgement would certainly have followed. The first step towards overcoming this fear therefore involves accepting the risk of a little self-exposure and checking whether the dreaded judgement actually materialises or not." In other words: try, venture forth, stumble lightheartedly.
Self-esteem is a barometer that oscillates between our desires and our results
William James, psychologist and philosopher
To be avoided as counterproductive: reassurance. "The fact that others try to persuade the person of their worth ends up making their fear of being exposed as an impostor even worse, since so many people attribute to them those fine qualities that they are afraid they do not possess — and so all of those people will be disappointed once the mask falls."
Conversely, becoming familiar with the repetitive mechanisms that feed the malaise is an excellent stratagem for dismantling them. With the perfectionist, for example, the picklock of the deliberate mistake works well: "Introducing a small imperfection into the things one does helps one to tolerate them," advises Milanese. "In the case of the expert, on the other hand, the first step is to start taking the risk of moving into action even when they feel they do not know everything."
Many argue that a mild form of impostor thinking is positive, because it spurs us to apply ourselves and to do our best. Hence the final piece of advice, perhaps the most important: the sceptic who dwells within us grumbles incessantly — we are made of the same stuff as bluffs, it says. As we sip our morning coffee, let it have its say. But once the monologue is over, stop listening to it: we have a train to catch. Platform self-esteem — let's enjoy the journey.
